Archives for posts with tag: joy

“My dog needs to learn how to behave.”

“My dog needs to learn some behaviors.”

On the surface, the previous two statements seem to be talking about the same thing. Both have a version of the word “behave” in them, so they must be closely related, right?

Actually, no. In fact, these two sentences are as far away from each other in meaning as Pluto is from Earth in light years. (Okay, maybe not quite that bad; I just wanted to say Pluto, ya know, the dog thing. Anyway, they are not closely related.)

This may seem a bit trainer-geeky, but it is soooo very important to understand the difference between behavior and Behavior (capitalization mine), whether you are teaching your dog to Sit or dealing with a problem.

Allow me to define both and explain the importance.

“behavior”

This is one of the newer ways of talking about what used to be called “commands” — Sit, Down, Come, No, Heel etc. — and also “tricks” like shake, roll over, etc. We think of “tricks” and “commands” as two different things, and we tend to teach them differently, but they are the same thing: single-event actions, generally taught with words. Say the word, the action is performed, and some type of reward is usually provided.

Anyone can teach behaviors, and any dog can learn them. I sometimes call them “circus tricks” because of the automatic/rote nature of them. To avoid confusion in this post, I will also refer to them that way here.

“Behavior”

Thisis what happens between the circus tricks, and it occupies the vast majority of your dog’s day! It is the stuff your dog does when you are not specifically telling her what to do; it’s what you are expecting or hoping she already “knows.” Though we differentiate between Good and Bad Behavior, your dog doesn’t — to her, Behavior is simply how she conducts herself in our world. Behavior is what happens after the walk but before dinner, while you are working on your computer or running the vacuum, when you are helping the kids with schoolwork, when you are fixing a snack and leaving it on the counter. While you are doing other things, your dog is Behaving.

Why it’s important to know the difference

When our dogs fail to do what we want them to do, we jump to unhelpful human conclusions. Many of us like to say our dogs are “stubborn” when they don’t perform the circus trick every time or Behave the way we’d like. Let me be clear: Dogs generally are not being “stubborn” when they don’t do what we want. There ARE reasons for their improper response — and they can be very different depending on whether it’s a behavior or Behavior.

Your dog may not perform a circus trick/behavior reliably because:

• there have not been enough repetitions,

• rewards haven’t been consistently provided,

• there is too much else going on around the dog (ie distractions),

• the teaching technique isn’t sound (eg punishing your dog for not Coming will make him less likely to Come).

In this instance, cleaning up and committing to your teaching procedure should get your dog performing reliably (80-90% for most things; dogs aren’t robots!).

Your dog may not Behave because:

• he’s scared,

• he’s overstimulated,

• he’s confused,

• he’s learned bad things happen to him under these circumstances,

• it’s a new place/person/thing,

• he’s being bullied by another dog,

• it’s night,

• it’s day,

• it’s noisy,

• he smells something funny,

• his brain is tired,

• he’s sick,

• something hurts,

• he doesn’t trust you,

• he doesn’t feel protected,

• he’s learned how to get what he wants without doing it,

• he sees no benefit to doing it,

• Behaving a different way benefits him more,

• he is expected to Behave though no one has taught him how to Behave.*

In this instance, as you can see, it’s a wee bit more complicated. Which is why it’s fascinating for me and other pros, but so frustrating for many POGs!

Behavior is internal. It comes from within, not without. It isn’t created with a word. Behavior is impacted by personality, life experience, environment, nutrition, breed(s), etc. etc. It is where DogJoy can happen, where the true connection/bond between human and dog is formed and where understanding, communication and mutual respect blossom.

To impact Behavior, you need to understand your dog on a deeper level. To create Good Behavior, you have to understand Dog Behavior in general, and your dog’s Behavior in particular. If you take the time to do that, both of you will be richly rewarded.

For some good places to start learning about dog Behavior, visit my Recommended Reading page.

———-

*For the record, despite thousands of years of domestication, dogs still have no clue how to operate in our world, and since they don’t have ESP or a chip in their heads that is preprogrammed before they arrive in your home, they need us to supply the missing information in a way they can understand and properly process.

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Whether you are teaching your dog new behaviors or trying to fix problems, your positive/rewards-based trainer will often say to ignore the behaviors you don’t want.

While this makes sense for some things — barking at you for attention, for example — many other behaviors will be unaffected by ignoring and can cause many a frustrated POG to conclude positive methods don’t work, and the only way s/he can get the desired result is to resort to correction and punishment.

Truth is, you can ignore countersurfing all day long and you won’t stop it because the reward for it is usually not attention, but rather getting some good stuff off the counter. (I say usually — I had a doodle in group class who had actually figured out a great way to get his POG’s attention was to jump on the empty counter. Every time he did that, the POG would rush into the kitchen shouting “Hey!” The dog would get down immediately, but would go right back up when the POG left the room. Dang smart doodles!)
There are many other examples like countersurfing where the dog’s payoff is not attention, thereby rendering ignoring useless in most cases.

What I usually tell clients is ignore the behavior BUT ALSO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Well, that certainly makes no sense on the surface, does it? You can’t do something and not do something at the same time.

That’s not what I mean. But that’s often what my clients hear. And that may point to the real problem here: The word “ignore” is a poor choice to use when describing for our clients what we need them to do.

So I am calling myself out–time to step up, take responsibility and fix it!

Introducing: Low Energy Interruptions (LEI)
Before I went to the dogs, I spent close to 20 years in the writing, editing and publishing fields. Not surprisingly, I am very fussy about word choice. (See my Words Matter! document for suggestions on how to replace out-of-date training vocabulary.) So I am prepared to take a swing at redefining the “ignore” method of behavior modification.

In most cases, what I am really talking about is not ignoring the unwanted behaviors but rather interrupting them — with as little energy as possible. Pair that action with rewarding the desired behaviors with a lot of energy, and the dog now has clear communication: the desired behavior benefits the dog more, and the pragmatic dog will choose that behavior over the one that benefits him less.

Most of us tend to ignore our dogs when they are behaving themselves, but then give tons of attention whenever we see a “bad” behavior — we talk, yell, snap the leash, grab the collar, etc. (i.e. gasoline, meet match). This is exactly the opposite of what we should be doing! (My book, Reverse Dog Training, grew out of this observation.) We need to reverse course completely — emphasis on “right” behavior, well rewarded — to get the results we want.

I want to replace “ignore” with Low Energy Interruption (LEI). I believe it better conveys the idea that you do need to do something, but that something needs to be minimal. A minor course correction, if you will, on the way to the behavior that will be clearly more desirable for the dog because of the difference in energy (reward/benefit) it produces.

Example time! #1 Jumping
I have dealt with a LOT of jumping, including that of my own dog, a pogo-stick bouncer as well as a pile-driver (36 pounds launched right at my chest) who hasn’t jumped on anyone for a very long time (she’s been with me since 2004 and stopped jumping altogether within the first year).

I always start by telling clients what doesn’t work — coincidentally all the things people think will work — including saying “No,” “Off” or “Down”; asking for a Sit after a jump; turning your back; or any rough stuff like pushing, kneeing, stepping on leash, etc.

Invariably, the client asks, “What do I do then, just ignore it?”

While the best situation is preventing the jumping altogether so it extinguishes, for most POGs it’s not realistic because they are not watching their dogs constantly, so mistakes and “bad” behavior will happen. And since we humans tend to be reactive rather than proactive, we often will react without even thinking, whether we intend to or not. Reacting in a big way will confuse the dog and cause him to try it again, so we need a different reaction. A small one.

Enter LEI. This is how I do it:
1- Dog jumps.
2- I look up and away (think snobby), and take one step forward/toward the jump (LEI).
3- I wait to see if the dog gets down. If not, I help him by rotating a hip slightly to slide him off but maintain my position (LEI). Note I DO NOT turn away.
4- Dog gets down.
5- I look at him and say “Hi, buddy! How are you? Are you a good dog?”
6- Usually, the dog jumps again at that point.
7- Repeat steps 2-5 till he doesn’t jump when I talk to him. Then:
8- Immediately say GOOD and squat/bend down to his level to love on him for making the right choice.

(If he starts to get jumpy at this point, simply go back to step 2.)

Using this technique allows the dog to clearly see the difference in payoff to him between jumping and not jumping. Obviously, “four on the floor” (all feet on the ground) is the better choice, i.e. the one he should want to repeat, because it gets him tons of what he wants (attention).

This can work even for attention-seeking situations where you could ignore the dog, like barking. Barking drives me nuts, and usually it goes on way too long, well beyond my maximum patience level. I want to interrupt that barking so I can create and reward quiet. Yelling uses too much energy and gets us so frustrated that if he does finally shut up we can’t reward him because we don’t even want to see him at that moment!

Example Time! #2 Barking
Before I give you this one, I must state that barking is a complicated issue because there are many reasons why dogs bark! Ask yourself “What is he getting out of it?” before deciding how to deal with it.

Here is one real-life example of how I used LEI for barking:

A rescued adult beagle mix was carrying on loudly and relentlessly at the feet of his POG at every feeding until the bowl was on the ground. This soft-spoken woman got so frustrated she would scream at the dog thusly: “SHUUUUUT UUUUUUP!” Since I was standing there in her kitchen, this obviously was not working. I asked if I could try dealing with it my way, and 10 minutes later, he was quiet during the feeding prep.

Here are the steps I followed in this case (NOTE: every dog is different, and there are many small adjustments that can be made here to more effectively communicate with each dog):
1- Put bowl and food on counter. (Have some food already in the bowl.)
2- Dog starts barking.
3- Look up and away, silently count to 10.
4- Dog keeps barking.
5- Make a slight, quick LEI movement (in this case, I turned my head and upper body one way, then the other, took about a second)
6- Dog stops barking for a second to figure out what I’m doing.
7- IMMEDIATELY SAY ‘GOOD’ AND HAND HIM A PIECE OF FOOD.
8- Dog starts barking.
9- Look up and away, silently count to 15.
10- If dog pauses for even a second, IMMEDIATELY SAY ‘GOOD’ AND HAND HIM A PIECE OF FOOD. If not, repeat steps 5-9 until he starts pausing on his own. Then:
11- When he is quiet, say GOOD and pick up the bowl.
12- If he stays quiet, keep saying GOOD and lower the bowl towards the floor. EVERY TIME HE BARKS, PUT THE BOWL BACK ON THE COUNTER AND LOOK AWAY TILL HE STOPS.
13- Repeat 11 and 12 until you have the bowl on the floor.
14- Repeat, repeat, repeat! until he is quiet from start to finish.

Because there was such a clear difference between benefit for barking (no food) and quiet (here comes food!) PLUS it had the assistance of an LEI (to limit frustration and barking time), the change came quickly. Over time, the support would be peeled away so the end result would be the normal procedure of pouring the food and placing it on the floor while the dog quietly watches.

I hope this new term and its explanation helps POGs everywhere to fix problems quickly, with minimal frustration and maximum joy!

My new client had obviously had a tiring day with her rescue dog. We had been working on some reactivity issues with visitors, and unfortunately Thanksgiving got in the way of our teaching plan. While the day wasn’t a failure, both POG and dog tried hard but also made mistakes throughout the day. By the time her relatives left, my client was burnt to a crisp.

She emailed a report to me, and she ended with a question: “…have you ever worked with a family who isn’t able to turn this behavior around?”
I knew this was a bad-day/exhaustion-based question, so I gave her my usual responses (yes, but: rarely; you didn’t fail, nothing bad happened so something good happened; this is expected; you did fine; she did fine; you can do it; back to work!). My answer satisfied her; in fact, she reported she had since had a great session with her dog. We were back on track.

Yet, for some reason, her question niggled at me. Of course, I had clients who couldn’t reach their goals for their dog. The reasons varied from life changes to “I am afraid she’ll hurt someone.” The common thread comes down to the POG being physically and/or emotionally unable to continue. Essentially, they give up.

It happens to all of us, DLSIs/trainers and POGs alike: We get that challenging dog, and/or we have a spectacularly bad day, and/or a series of bad days/events, and we run out of coping juice. We go into meltdown mode, selecting from the despair menu of crumpled crying, primal screaming, boisterous swearing, redirected anger, manic cleaning and/or yard work, and extreme self-doubt (that’s my list anyway). Generally, after a while, we pick ourselves up, shake ourselves off and get back to work.

But not always. And that got me to wondering: What if I had given up? 

The Tawny Test

My darling girl Tawny was a challenging dog. And that is putting it mildly. She had a lot of issss-ues, if you will, and she was stuck with someone who had her own issss-ues plus, unfortunately, a similar personality–quick-reacting, impatient, intolerant. We were gasoline and a match. Bad combo! Add in the fact that I was wet behind the ears as a trainer, just starting out and with a lot to learn about what “dog training” really was, and oh my, what a recipe for disaster. 

In my group glasses, I would hold up a piece of paper with stuff written on both sides. This was Tawny’s “bad dog” list–all the behaviors we had fixed, from jumping and digging to separation anxiety and reactivity (“aggression”). I stated I had to write it down so I wouldn’t forget any of it because the problems were all gone, but emphasized that it didn’t happen overnight.

In fact, it was often a slow, hard slog for both of us as we worked to understand each other and learned how to communicate. I was slower on the uptake most of the time, and amazingly Tawny for some reason was very tolerant of my flailings and failings then. And still is, I might add. There were times when I blew it, she blew it, and we both blew it. There were times when something would work for awhile and then suddenly stop working. There were times when I questioned whether I should even have a dog, much less try to teach one anything.

But each time, after the ceremonial wailing and rending of garments, in fairly short order, I slid back into the driver’s seat and eased back onto the course. It was unthinkable to me to do anything else. Tawny was depending on me to sort this out with her. Had I given up, I would have let her down, and also let down all the other dogs who needed my help. I would have let myself down too. I couldn’t let that happen. Quite simply, failure was not an option. 

What I didn’t know then but know now is that arduous, tortuous journey produced marvelous, far-reaching results. I have the dog I always wanted–safe, reliable, well-mannered, a joy most of the time–an achievement I could barely have imagined at the beginning. Even more unimaginable is how much she changed me, pushing me to be a better trainer, better POG, and better human being. Had I not kept trying, neither of us would be the beings we are now. We both hung in there, and today we both are reaping the rewards. 

This is especially meaningful to me now, because I am in a personal situation that allows me little time to manage anything in my life, especially an ill-behaved dog. But she is performing majestically, and I thank her every day for it.

Learning resilience

In trainer circles, we talk about the resilience of dogs, how some bounce back better than others. My dog taught me how to be resilient, and I will be forever grateful I didn’t give up on her, or me. I judge no one who makes a different decision. This is simply my story. I hope it helps someone else struggling to hang on in a bad moment.

More help can be found on my Trained With Kindness (TWiKi) site (“Frustration Emergency?“) [http://www.trainedwithkindness.com/take-action-now-heres-how/frustration-emergency-read-now/] and my CP-HIP site (Problem-Solving Formula e-booklet on my Store page). [http://cp-hipdogs.com/train/shop/]

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